i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
