We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
