Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
