I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
