Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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