do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
