you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
