please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
