We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
