Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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