I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
