U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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