My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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