I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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