Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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