I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
