it's too hot outside to masturbate.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
