Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
