I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
