i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
