I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
