There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
