She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
