Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
