first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
