Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
