every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
