Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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