Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
