She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
