i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
