Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
