small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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