I am in a vortex of obligation.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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