We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
