just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
