I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
