her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
soo... how was my night?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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