we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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