I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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