I hate all girls vehemently.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
