I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
