You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
