office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
