just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
