I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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