im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
