shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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