Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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