Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
