She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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