I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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