can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
